A New Reality

Last Friday we received some news that will impact our family for the weeks or months to come.  When I first heard the news, I panicked, cried some, worried, and tried to make sense of it with my husband and started to think about what this is going to mean for us.  It means we have to re-evaluate how we live, how we spend our money, how we communicate, how we cope, how we handle the stress of it all.  I worry about the toll it's going to take on our family, especially because it's something that doesn't have a finite end right now... we could be in this situation for weeks or we could be in this for months and months.  That's the part that scares me the most.

I was kinda somber all day Friday, but Saturday I was able to get away for a bit and have some fun distraction that took me away from thinking about this huge problem.  I drove down to Berkeley to co-host a baby shower for my friend C.  C is a long-time dear friend of mine, whom I met in 1990, during our freshman year in college.  She is expecting her first baby!  I am so happy to be sharing this experience with her, and as she did for me, 3 and a half years ago, when I was pregnant with AJ, I was happy to help plan a shower for her, surrounded by her closest friends.  We spent an afternoon sharing stories about he we all knew C and of course, sharing well wishes for her, her husband and the new baby boy that will soon join their household.  It was so wonderful to spend an afternoon with one of my oldest and dearest friends, to re-connect with other old friends and meet some wonderful ladies.  It's afternoons like that one that remind me of the amazing and strong bond that women share.  Whether we are sharing stories about our children, our spouses, our lives, our careers, there is something so amazingly comforting about how women care and connect with one another.  Thank God for girlfriends.

Today, was a mellow day, but also spent some time with good friends.  My friend Ericka came to visit us for a short while, from out of town and we shared a late brunch and some nice girl talk.  I napped for a long time in the afternoon, while AJ napped.  I didn't realize I was so tired, until after I napped for over 2 hours.  Jasmine and Brandon came over in the evening and we all went out to a nice dinner.  The boys had a blast together!

So, all in all, it was a wonderful weekend!  After the blow we received last Friday, I really needed his weekend, filled with rest, friends and some downtime, to put things into perspective.

Tomorrow, we start a new week, in a new reality that is now our lives.  Although I am worried about how we'll handle this, I am also hopeful that we can get through this situation.  I pray for clarity for us to know what changes we need to make.  I pray for calm and coping skills for us to handle this in the most positive way possible.  We will take it one day at a time.

For Just a Brief Moment...

.... my child was nice and sweet yesterday. As he was laying in bed, after we read a bedtime story, he says to me: "Mommy, you're pretty and you're nice and you're good" My heart melted into a nice puddle right there in front of him! That's how he sucks me in! He must have somehow known I blogged about him being a little monster lately and then he lays it on nice and thick and sweet and reels me back in!

But it's those moments that make the bad moments all worthwhile. In that split second, I forgot the tantrums, the yelling, the stubbornness, and all of the defiance. In that split moment, he reminded me that being his mom is by far the best thing that has ever happened to me. The love I feel for him is by far the greatest love I have ever known and will ever know. And times like those are the moments that will stand out in my mind 20 years from now, when he is grown.

I know those moments are precious... they come and go, as easily as the blink of an eye. And I want so desperately to hang on to them forever... to never forget the sound of his little voice, the twinkle in his little eyes and the upturned corners of his little mouth as he smiles. Why do they grow up so fast?

But this morning, he promptly brought me back to 3-yr old reality... we had to argue and "negotiate" over clothes and the fact that he was not going to wear the same dirty shirt he wore yesterday! We fought over breakfast and the fact that he wanted to eat tortilla chips for breakfast! And he threw a fit, as he does most mornings, over silly things, like not wanting to wear a jacket and not finding THE one toy he wanted to bring to school! And all this before 7:30am! Some days I like the fact that I work and he's at school all day! Now I can gather up energy to argue some more with him when he gets home from school!

Not a good way to start the week

AJ is sick. he has been fighting catching a cold for the last week or so and now it has finally caught up to him! By yesterday evening, he was totally congested and coughing up his little lungs.. he coughed so heard over the course of the night he threw up three times and of course after each time, it took him a while to get settled down and back to sleep. So, needless to say, I am exhausted!

I kept him home from pre-school, but I have so much work pending at work that I can't really take the day off, so I am nursing him, trying to keep him entertained and trying to work all at the same time. DH is off today and so he is home and helping, but sick children have an adversity against daddies and only want mommies! Daddy enticed him with a trip to the pet store to get some new fish for our tank, so off they went to kill some time.

Tomorrow, his pre-school is closed so I had already made arrangements to have my sister-in-law watch him, but hopefully he'll be better and able to go over there, so I can get some work done.

This is not the way I wanted to start the week. I have so much to do between now and Friday, before I host my friend Cici's baby shower, for 25 people, on Saturday.

Never a dull moment and no rest for the weary mom!

Please tell me this is a phase...

So, AJ turned 3 yrs old this past May and everyone I knew with young kids warned me that the 3s were worse than the terrible 2s!  His pediatrician even told me at his 3-yr old well child exam that the 3s are "lovingly" referred to as "the whiny 3s!"  And boy, was everyone right!  In the last few weeks my child has turned into a little monster from hell!  And yes, I do say with love in my eyes, but the child is driving me bonkers! 

He has always been a strong-willed child, who also inherited his daddy's "strong" temper, but lately he has taken things to a whole new level.  He yells at me like I am HIS child.  He throws temper tantrums complete with throwing himself on the floor, kicking, screaming at the top of his lungs. These tantrums are often as a result of some RIDICULOUS thing, like being mad that stickers he put on a piece of paper won't come off without the paper ripping or mad that 2 legos from 2 different sets won't fit together.  He says "no" to everything I ask him to do.  He gets irately mad when things don't go his way.  And we fight EVERY single morning about the clothes he is going to wear.  He wants to wear shorts to school even now that the weather is cold.  Or he wants to wear pajamas to school.  Or he wants to wear the same superhero t-shirt that he wore the day before, complete with the ketchup and milk stains from the day before.  So, when I try to explain to him why he has to wear other alternatives, he throws a complete fit.. to the point where I have to almost restrain him in order to get him dressed.  Oh, and he does whine over EVERYTHING!

So, we do the discipline things we think we need to do... he goes in time-out, he gets favorite toys taken away, he doesn't get to watch his cartoons.  We've tried it all.. we try to reason with him (yes, I know, sounds silly that we try to reason with a 3-yr old), we try to explain things to him in a calm way, but sometimes both his dad and I just flat out lose it!

He started pre-school in August of this year and his teacher says at school he is well-behaved.  The only complaint I have received from his teacher is that he is sometimes really bossy and tries to tell the other kids what to do, bosses them around to clean up, etc.  She keeps having to remind him that HE is NOT the teacher.  But even she has noticed that when I come to pick him up, he immediately starts to act out.

My husband thinks that a lot of this is a result of him being an only child, whom we have spoiled too much.  I do agree he is kinda spoiled, particularly by his grandma who thinks he can do no wrong.  I think the child has a mild complex of feeling like the world revolves around him... because most of the adults around him act like it does!  When he wants to be sweet, he is the most loving and fun child, but goodness, those moments are few and far between lately!

So, please, please somebody tell me this IS just a phase he is going through and that in a few months I will actually like my child again!  And for anyone with young children, if you have experienced a similar period with your child (which I'm feeling like no one has and that my child is just from another planet!), please share some tips of how you handled it or behavior modification tips that worked!

This stressed-out mommy needs some help!

it's a new day

So, I caught the re-run of Oprah this evening and she had will.i.am on singing the song he just penned after Obama's election win on Tuesday, called "it's a new day."  In a few simple words, I think it really captures the essence of this election, the outcome and the promise of what is to come.  What an amazing night election night was!  I am still on a high.  We have finally taken a step in the right direction to correct so many wrongs and so many injustices of history.  I have never felt prouder to be an American and I have never felt more hopeful for the future of this country and its place in the world.

On election day, AJ's pre-school set up a voting poll, complete with ballots, little pencils, a ballot box and red, white and blue decorations, and asked the kids to vote for their snack of the day.  The kids could vote for chips and nacho cheese or chips and salsa.  AJ picked the snack he wanted, marked his X on the ballot (except it looked more like a +), folded it and dropped it into the box.  I thought it was an awesome thing that his pre-school took the time to set the poll up to teach kids as young as 3 and 4, the importance of making your voice heard.  

As AJ and I watched election results come in and I was visibly excited to see the outcome, AJ kept asking "Mommy, who's winning?" and I'd say "Barack Obama is winning" and he'd say "No, mommy, I'm winning!"  It was a fun exchange with him, but it made me think about how much we as parents, always tell our kids that they can grow up to be anything, even the President of the United States.  As the mother of a child who is half African-American, that vision for my child's future, is now not simply an ideology, but now it has face: the face of Barack Obama. 

Dead, but not Forgotten

Yeah.. this little blog has been dead for almost 8 months now and has been completely neglected by me, its pathetic owner, but it has not been forgotten. I have vowed before (and failed miserably to keep the vow) to make an effort to update this little blog more often, but I have been feeling inspired to resurrect my little outlet lately, and so, here I am! I am going to give it one more hard try to write more often.. it will certainly not be everyday, but as a starting goal, I am going to try to write at least twice a week... that's a start, right?

My work has been keeping me busy beyond belief. the word "busy" doesn't even do justice to how many hours I have been working lately... working a solid 9 hours in the daytime and working almost every night in the late evenings. I am drained and feeling like I need to regroup and do something more than get up, get ready, get the kid ready, take kid to pre-school, work 9 hours, pick up kid from school, make dinner, get husband fed before he goes to work at night, get kid ready for bed, work 2-3 more hours, go to bed and do it all over again the next day.

So, welcome me back, fellow bloggers and please help me with encouragement to write and share my mundane stories with you!

Happy Birthday to You....

I'm glad you hold my hand...

Happy 34th Birthday to my hubby!

We've had a rough time lately with lots of work stressors, illness and chaos in our lives, but I am so happy to share yet another birthday with you and look forward to so many more...

AJ and the ABCs

We are practicing our ABCs.. the first time he sang it so softly i couldn't hear it, so I told him to sing louder....